


Itch

by liltwinflow



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Shu and Eichi are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:05:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liltwinflow/pseuds/liltwinflow
Summary: Again, there was silence between the two, his brother’s matching blue eyes staring down at his hands to avoid looking up at him. Ichiru didn’t say anything more, instead waited for the elder to speak up. Pressuring him would get them nowhere.“It helps” his quiet voice started, Ichiru found himself having to crouch down in front of his twin to hear him better. “It helps when I’m nervous, or to let out my feelings without saying anything.”He thought as much.~~ Based off my headcanon that Issei itches when he's nervous (except it somehow turned a little angsty-)





	Itch

**Author's Note:**

> Me: I should really get back to writing happy fics  
> Also me: make it a little angsty-
> 
> I'm sorry I couldn't help myself, if I use this headcanon again I promise it'll be happier >.<

 

It started off small, he wouldn’t even have noticed at first, he’s sure. Just a simple brush to the arm, which turned into a slight rub from time to time. He didn’t think anything of it back then, everyone rubs their arm or brushes it with their fingers at some point in their lives. In fact, he forgot about it.

Until the rubbing grew a little more noticeable, lasting longer than a few seconds. Ichiru wondered if there was something wrong with his arm, always sparing a glance whenever he could to check. Nothing ever appeared to be wrong.

He almost grew to forget about the rubbing, as he did the small brushes, after all they didn’t happen often.

Except the rubbing turned into scratches, light ones as if Issei had an itch. Which Ichiru did mistake it for, his attention always soon caught by something else. Missing the expression on his twin’s face.

The light scratches turned into slightly harder ones, ones that would leave faint red lines for an hour or so before disappearing. Each time Ichiru noticed it he wanted to ask if he were okay, Issei’s actions getting harder to brush off as nothing the more it progressed. Yet every time he tried to, something came up. So, the younger twin had to settle for hoping everything was okay, and it was nothing but an Itch.

But the scratches only grew worse, leaving patches of redness on Issei’s pale skin. The red lines would take longer, and longer to fade. With each one Ichiru found himself getting worried, this wasn’t a simple itch. He’s sure. No one leaves such redness and lines over a simple Itch.

 

Ichiru didn’t expect it to get this bad, that a small rub of the arm would evolve in to a spot like rash on the older twin’s forearm. Yet there is something he’s noticed, other than the fact it’s become more frequent.

Issei’s been doing this since they first joined Quell, the rubbing at the start - when he was nervous or felt awkward. This then evolved into light scratches as he became more known, nervous or felt like a draw back. These scratches now, Ichiru isn’t sure what has caused them. Does he still feel nervous? Does he feel like a let-down?

They’re supposed to be twins who know everything about each other, who understand the most about what the other feels. Ichiru knows Issei better than any one in the world, yet there’s still a part of him which feels he _doesn’t_ know Issei. At least not as well as he thought.

Issei can be somewhat of a tentative person, little compared to Ichiru when first meeting Shu. The younger twin is fully aware that Issei struggles to interact with people, as well as the fact that he is a man of few words. Issei doesn’t express his feelings, which is what leads Ichiru to feel as if he doesn’t fully know his twin. He can’t tell what’s going on inside his quiet mind, how he may feel, what he may be thinking. The few times Issei expresses himself, Ichiru can’t help but feel surprised.

The times he does speak his mind, he speaks of wanting to catch up to Shu – not wanting to hold him back but instead be proud to be on stage with him. This too surprises Ichiru, but the younger twin understands because he feels the same way. It’s the times when he’s comfortable that surprises Ichiru the most, as he’ll give them an insight as to what’s going on inside his mind.

Ichiru’s heart can’t help but hurt for his brother at times, it’s clear their upbringing had some affects on him. Some that he still thinks on time to time, Ichiru wishes he could take his hurt away. The older twin has always been there for him, maybe it’s what fuels his overprotective nature of Issei. Whatever it is, Ichiru still worried for the older teen.

More so now, that the scratches look painful.

 

Until one day, he couldn’t take it anymore.

He waited until they were alone in their room, to walk over to Issei. Lifting his sleeves to reveal his red rash like arms, earning a surprised “Ichiru?” from the elder.

With a small nudge, the said teen gently pushed Issei back to sit on their bed – looking down at him.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” he asked, eyes fixed on his brother’s arms. How hadn’t he noticed it was on both? The right however not as bad as the left, he must have started on it recently.

 

Issei doesn’t respond verbally, taking a few seconds more before nodding slowly. Ichiru knew it must have hurt, the angry red lines scream it out. The question is: “Why?”

Again, there was silence between the two, his brother’s matching blue eyes staring down at his hands to avoid looking up at him. Ichiru didn’t say anything more, instead waited for the elder to speak up. Pressuring him would get them nowhere.

“It helps” his quiet voice started, Ichiru found himself having to crouch down in front of his twin to hear him better. “It helps when I’m nervous, or to let out my feelings without saying anything.”

He thought as much.

He may not understand what’s going on inside Issei’s head 24/7, but he can take a pretty accurate guess at times, and always being together meant he could judge what Issei is feeling from his actions alone. Sometimes he wished he realised this sooner.

 

“But you’re hurting yourself Issei, how does that help?”

A further silence fills the room for a brief moment. “It grounds me when I’m anxious or upset. It helps when I’m nervous about performing or going to interviews. I just need to do something to help me”

Ichiru bit his lip, bringing his brother’s arms closer to inspect them. All to close to possible bleeding, a sigh escaped his lip. “Issei…-”

“I don’t mean it” the older twin interjected, finally looking up at Ichiru. “I don’t mean to hurt myself this bad, it…It just happens. I end up doing it without realising”

“The worse you feel the worse it gets?” Ichiru asked, after a moment. “When you’re anxious, sad…you feel a need to itch” Issei simply nodded, averting eye contact from his twin.

“I can’t stop it”

 

Ichiru suddenly stood up, causing Issei to look back up at him confusion laced in his eyes. The younger twin walked over to his dresser, picking up the Lizz plush he was given a while ago. A small version of his already dear plush of Lizz.

Issei watched in confusion as Ichiru walked back over to him, plush in hand.

“Here”

He simply said, placing the plush toy into his brother’s hands. “Squeeze this instead, whenever you need to ground yourself. So you don’t hurt yourself.”

Issei looked down at the toy, the softness of it almost providing an instant feeling of calmness within him. “But this is yours-”

“Please. You need it more, and I have my bigger Lizz plush” Ichiru pleaded, gesturing the toy behind Issei on the bed. “I don’t want, or like, you hurting yourself even if it’s unintentional. For me? Please?”

The older twin bit his lip, eventually clasping the toy gently in his hand with a nod. He could try, if not for him but for Ichiru. If he’s going to become stronger, he can’t be worrying Ichiru any more than he already is. And if this is the first step to becoming stronger, worthier of being on stage with them all, then he’ll do what it takes.

 

“Issei” He looked up at the sound of his name.

“I’m here too, you’re not holding me back and I won’t be leaving you. This time it’ll be me who’s the one shouting not to take you. If you need my help you can just tug my shirt or something”

Issei couldn’t help the small breath of a laugh that escaped his lips, as well as the tiny smile that formed on his face. What would he do without him?

 

**~~~**

 

Since then, Issei had used the plush toy a few times. Ichiru was always conflicted in the sense he was glad Issei wasn’t itching but worried as he must have had a reason for using it like he suggested. Still by the end of the day, Issei always seemed to be better than before, bringing relief to the younger sibling.

Of course he still checked up on Issei, glancing at his arms during practice or when he’s not wearing long sleeves. He was always pleased to see his skin the same pale way it should be, the nasty redness caused by his scratching long gone.

If anything, Ichiru is relieved. Relieved that since he had given Issei Lizz-kun he hasn’t used it as much, that must signify he hasn’t felt down or nervous in any particular way, right? It’s a sign things are getting better.

So the next time he saw the older twin using the plush, he grew worried.

They were in the middle of getting dressed and prepared for their show, dozens of fans waiting out in the arena for them. And whilst Ichiru could feel himself getting hyped, he could tell Issei was quite the opposite by the way he'd squeeze the plushie every now and then. 

Except he didn’t get the time to go over and talk to him, to help him calm down, as they were soon rushed towards the stage. Issei having to leave the plush in their dressing room. Ichiru spared him a glance, one that asked if he were okay. The older of the two simply nodded, putting on a small smile as they went out onto the main stage.

 

As the concert when on, the thought of Issei’s nerves slipped Ichiru’s mind. The arena was loud, he was caught up in the hype of the fans. He never noticed the way Issei would bite his lip at times, or his urge to itch.

This wasn’t their first concert, but it was certainly one of their bigger ones. The setlist for the night included new songs, and that’s what threw Issei off. What if he messes up? Forgets the words?

 

It was only when Issei had walked over to Ichiru’s side of the stage and gently tugged the sleeve of his attire, that the younger twin remembered. Looking over at him with concern clear in his eyes.

Eichi and Shu were talking to the fans, giving Ichiru the chance to mouth to his twin ‘Are you okay?’

Issei simply nodded once more, just being closer to his brother helped him calm down. Every reassuring thing Ichiru has ever said to him, came back to mind. The feeling of Ichiru taking his hand washed away the last bit of anxiety within him.

He could do this.

With Ichiru by his side.

And so the concert carried on smoothly, the only slip up made was by Eichi, who forgot which way they were supposed to move.

 

Until soon Issei found he was content just having Ichiru with him, a light tug or tap – and Ichiru would be there to reassure him.

Of course, the urge to itch remained. Of, course there were times Issei accidentally found himself itching.

But his Itch remained a simple Itch.

He needn’t be nervous or down anymore.

 


End file.
